One of the first and likely most distasteful lessons that your mother or father probably taught you as a child was that life is sometimes cruelly, brutally, capriciously unfair. That’s just how it is.
As adults, most people usually try to react to injustices perpetrated on them (especially if there is no discernable malicious intent) with a little more sophistication and grace than they did as children, but it’s hard. For example: When you get divorced in North Carolina and believe, correctly or not, that you got an undeserved raw deal.
Maybe your ex immediately found a new special someone who looks uncannily like Brad Pitt, Sharon Stone or another gorgeous superstar. You, on the other hand, are desperately lonely and pining for companionship. Your former spouse might have casually walked away and left it to you to cope with the kids following the divorce. Perhaps you took a big financial hit resulting from your split while your erstwhile life partner did not.
Stop seething and start regrouping so you can move on
One expert suggests this logical game plan for climbing out of your angry post-divorce mindset. Tips include:
- Write down all the things about your present situation that rile you.
- Ask yourself how you would rather be feeling.
- Now jot down things you are elated about (there must be some even if you doubt it.)
- Review all the items you put on the first list that are negative.
- Plan ways to advance in a more optimistic fashion.
Developing a more hopeful view of things after a rough divorce takes time, energy and willpower. It may not happen overnight, but work on it and you will almost certainly see results.